Phantasms

Season 7 of TNG is one that I've noticed a lot of people seem to put down. It's a common occurrence that a TV show will probably run out of steam in its last season, like nearly any college student in their last semester. There were a couple good episodes of Season 7: "The Pegasus" is one of my favorites (loooong before "These Are The Voyages" ruined it), along with "Force of Nature", "Parallels", and "All Good Things". "Lower Decks" brought us to a part of the Enterprise that wasn't seen every week while "Journey's End" brought the final episode with Wesley. But, there were some lesser episodes, like "Emergence" where once again the holodeck broke down (I'm hoping they ditched the holodeck and went back to TV and movies). As for "Phantasms"...let me put it like this: the movie Phantasm made more sense than the episode "Phantasms".

You're next!
YOU'RE NEXT!!!

The episode opens with a tracking shot of Data strolling through the corridor. The music and odd camera effects immediately tell us that this is an off-putting scene. The only way to make it more off-putting is to feature a wide-angled close-up. After a brief chat with Geordi, Data notices three workmen wearing old clothing ripping a piece of the wall apart. He tries to talk to them, but for some reasons emits a high-pitched shriek. The scene ends with the workmen tearing him apaaaaaaaaaart, Lisa! (literally) And then, Data wakes up in his quarters.

The Enterprise has just installed a new warp core and is heading off to some planet. Picard is upset because he's been forced into attending the annual Admiral's Banquet. With no Borg cube inbound, Cylon attack underway, or Dalek using pig slaves, it seems that he has no more excuse to miss out an incredibly dull dinner. In engineering, Data and Geordi have a talk about dreams. They then have a chat with a young ensign...in a scene that obviously serves for padding and has no bearing on the rest of the episode. Anyway, they try to go to warp but...it's not working. Well, Picard, you might have a chance to skip out this year.

Data talks to Troi about his dream, followed by the latter suggesting he try it again. Interesting advice to do something that was disturbing. But anyway, Data decides to continue his dreaming. The following scene is chalk full of symbolism, very surreal symbolism: Worf eats a "cellular peptide cake" (with mint frosting), Dr. Crusher is sucking something out through Riker's ear, there is ringing, and the workmen are eating Troi as a cake. Then, Data wakes up to find Troi, Geordi, and Worf standing over him: Data has overslept. Naturally, realizing something seems to be very wrong, his first impulse is to go back to work.

Ja, ja.  Tell me more about zes sexual encounter mit
Tasha Yar.

After that, Data decides to get some advice from Sigmund Freud in a scene which, let's be fair, is pretty ridiculous. Freud is one of the fathers of modern psychology, but this scene fails because he's from the 20th Century. Just about every disease on Earth has been eradicated. Freud's ideas and methodologies of the time should be obsolete from new ideas and methodologies. I mean, it's like trying to ask the Founding Fathers for help on American domestic policy in the 21st Century. They were geniuses for their time, and in some ways are inspirational, but with changing times they're hardly the first people I'd go to for advice. Data eventually realizes this and leaves the holodeck.

Hello. How would you like to lose weight within one hour
by doing absolutely nothing?

Picard gets a message from Admiral Nakamura (whom you may remember all the way back from Season 2), on why they aren't at the banquet yet. Data then works on a phase coil and has a waking dream. Riker (still with the straw in his ear) tells Data to "answer it" before he comes back to reality. After that, Data goes to see a true therapist about his dreams. Troi suggests he is developing neurosis, which Data is excited about. Interesting...

Later, after a pointless scene where Picard tries to micromanage Main Engineering (where he seems anxious to get to the banquet; why isn't he ordering them to take their time?), Data has another waking dream and tries to stab Troi. He takes revenge for all the "Counselor Obvious" moments she's done in the last six years. Riker and Worf manage to be in the right place because the Klingon was complaining about his son listening to jazz; hey, Worf, jazz is a little easier to listen to than the screeching Klingon opera you pipe through the ship's audio! They manage to overpower Data...odd, as he lifted Wesley with one hand in the pilot episode, but anyway he is subdued.

In the conference room, Data tries to explain his actions, but with no explanation available, Picard is forced to relieve him of duty. We then get a scene where Data gives his demon cat Spot to Worf. Did Data consider himself to be a danger to Spot? He didn't see him/her in his dreams or see him as being in danger! But, then, Dr. Crusher realizes that the crew is actually infected by interphasic organisms, which are consuming their cellular peptides and will soon reduce the crew to piles of goo. I must admire the crew of the Enterprise. After six years in space, they are completely nonchalant that they are being killed in a highly grotesque manner.

Geordi, I think I need my spinning top.

In the end, Picard and Geordi hook Data up to the holodeck to observe his dreams. After all, when a positronic brain cannot solve a problem, send in a human one! They go down layer after layer to implant the idea to break up Fischer's company...oh, wrong dream media. Eventually, they realize that a high-pitched scream Data emitted is harmful to the creatures, so Data emits the same pulse and all the creatures are killed. Then, we get the explanation for how this happened: turns out the creatures were laying dormant in the new plasma coil. Wow, the Federation needs to stop outsourcing to planets with lax safety regulations! Luckily, it will take so long to build a new plasma conduit that Picard will miss the banquet.

So, how did this episode old up? Stupid premise, mediocre acting, and bizarre conclusion. But, to be fair, it's a pretty harmless show. The dream sequences are pretty neat and I did get a laugh out of Sigmund Freud helping an android. Brannon Braga wrote this episode, but if anyone other than Patrick Stewart directed, it would probably have been as dull as "Schisms".

Final Score: 6/10