Heart of Glory

Well, it's been a few weeks. But, I had work to finish for this semester before I graduated (I'm now a college graduate), so here's something to break the mood. Today, we're looking at Next Generation.

Let's take a detour to 1979. For the first time in a decade, a new live-action Star Trek production was released (partially thanks to the release of Star Wars). Gene Roddenberry was given control of this film, and BOY, did it suck balls! The film was so incredibly boring and was stated to be "2001 for the 80s". Nevertheless, the Motionless Picture did well enough to warrant a sequel. First thing to do, besides change the uniforms, was to get Gene as far from the creative table as possible, and with that, we had the best film in the series: Wrath of Khan.

In 1986, Voyage Home made enough money to convince Paramount that a new Star Trek series was feasible. Sadly, Paramount decided in their wisdom to give creative control back to Gene. Like God's creation of the universe, this has come to be seen as a bad move.

I said a few weeks ago that first seasons are often excusable as they're trying to find their footing, but Season 1 of TNG was just...bad. I mean...really bad. For his part, Gene tried to put in more of his Utopian ideals, many of which were horrendously silly. He made sure the phasers were as un-gunlike as possible (and I think he said they only had a stun setting), he made the ship look like a hotel and a mall, he brought children on board (exposing them to deadly danger every week), and had to introduce his silly "no money exists!" idea. I like having currency, but still I have the theory that a society with machines that can produce food from thing air will have an economic model beyond anything we can understand. In addition, he tried to make capitalism the new bad guy, resulting in the laughable first appearance of the Ferengi. But, we'll get to that later.

"Heart of Glory" was written well before Ron Moore came on the show and single handedly created the Klingons as we know them today. There are some things that show up which will never appear again, like calling the homeworld "Kling" and referring to non-Klingons as "infidels". But still, with the Klingons being friends of the Federation, they had to come in sooner or later. Maybe, it should have been "later".

The episode opens with the Enterprise arriving in the Neutral Zone to investigate a battle. Interesting how the Neutral Zone shows up well before the Romulans do (thanks to the failure of the Ferengi). In addition, they have to mention that the weapon signatures are not of Ferengi origin. Real blatant in showing how eeeeeeeeeevil capitalism is! Anyway, a Talarian ship is found severely damaged with all systems failing (the Talarians will show up years later). Picard orders the first officer, second officer, and Geordi to beam over. Geordi has a red shirt, but is just one step up from an ensign, so I'm guessing he'll be fine.

This new HD monitor is awful!

Before heading over, Geordi equips his VISOR with an uplink to the bridge, so they can see what he sees. Interesting how after this episode, it is neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeever utilized again! Moreover, why are they getting what Geordi is himself seeing? The bridge crew does not know how to interpret what he's seeing. Wait, maybe that's why this is never used again (well, except by the Klingons who will use it to destroy the Enterprise in Generations). This scene serves mostly as padding, as well as showcasing the advantages of the VISOR, so let's move on.

After moving through a cloud of toxic gas, they find the passengers of this ship: Klingons. As this is some eighty years after the Original Series, Gene envisioned the Klingons being at peace with the Federation. Not too bad an idea, but that does not go over well in this episode. It looks less like the Russians and Americans working together and more like America having a puppet regime in a Middle East country. So, the ship begins to blow and Tasha is put in the transporter controls to beam them out. Of course, because she isn't a curly-haired Irishman, she fails the first time, but manages to bring them back.

The Klingons introduce themselves: Vaughn Armstrong and...some guy who was on The A-Team. Here we get one of the few elements of Klingon culture that will survive into other episodes: the Klingon death ritual. I'll admit: it is a very good scene. We also get some backstory on Worf. His parents were killed at Camp Khitomer (from Star Trek VI, which is four years away) and he was raised by humans. Nice to see how Gene, in his daze to create the perfect utopia, came up with a pretty nice backstory for Worf.

The Klingon died? You should bury him in
the pet cemetery.

Another Klingon ship arrives. On its bridge behind the captain is both a Klingon and Federation flag. Enjoy that image, because it will never be used in Star Trek again. This Klingon captain says that the ones the Enterprise picked up are fugitives, members of the Klingon Taliban. Well, maybe not, but they are wanted for stealing the ship and destroying a cruiser. Picard orders Tasha to bring the fugitives to the brig. As Tasha brings a security team, a little girl comes into the hallway and is picked up by Vaughn Armstrong. Tasha shows her usefulness by...not doing much in trying to save her.

Alright, I want to address the commonly mocked aspect of TNG with having children on board. I'm friends with multiple military families, so I've come to understand the hardships the spouses face when their loved one is shipped overseas. As such, I can kind of understand why Gene would have the families of the crew be on-board. After all, why should you go four or more years into deep space without seeing them. However, Starfleet is on various levels a military organization: one of its missions is to defend the Federation from threats. With all the anomalies and Romulan warbirds out there, you're putting dozens of kids in danger every week. Even in "Emissary", Sisko's family was on-board while he was fighting and losing to the Borg. Leave the kids at the nearest starbase! If you go up in smoke, don't bring your kids with you!

So, the hostage situation resolves nicely and the Klingons are brought to a brig which we'll never see again. It's more of a room with a force field next to a hallway than a brig (like in the Original Series). Thanks to Gene, Starfleet has decided to forgo any kind of search to make sure the prisoners aren't carrying weapons or things that could be used as weapons, as Vaughn Armstrong and the other guy are able to assemble a disruptor from equipment hidden in their clothing. Starfleet Security, one of the first things you should do when securing a prisoner is to make sure they're not carrying anything!

They get out, the other guy is killed, and Vaughn Armstrong makes it to engineering. Wow, Starfleet Security must be more like those guys who guard office buildings, "growing fat on a pension", than the elite Marine forces of the Navy if they allow an armed Klingon to get into one of the most vital areas of the ship. Once again, Tasha does not do anything and merely reports that he has his disruptor aimed at the dilithium chamber. Some have commented how the warp core is designed to withstand a constant matter/antimatter annihilation and yet a phaser blast can destroy the ship. Matter/antimatter need to be contained with magnetic shielding, not a physical barrier. Although...wouldn't it make more sense to have to have the physical barrier be built to withstand a phaser blast to prevent disruption of the magnetic...I'm rambling off-topic.

No, Worf! I'm telling you: it was a one-armed
man who killed my wife!

Worf comes in and manages to subdue Vaughn Armstrong. Once again, we see that occupational safety does not exist in the Star Trek universe, as the glass floorboards on the upper level shatter. The  episode ends with Worf rejecting an offer to leave the Enterprise and join the Klingons. You know, as we later learn, Worf has been to the Klingon homeworld before. While meditating there, he was inspired to join Starfleet. Why would they still be trying to grab him? Oh right, we needed a sugary ending for this episode. So, the Enterprise flies off and fans can rejoice that there are only two more episodes before Tasha dies!

If you're a casual fan and not on a mission to watch every episode of Star Trek ever produced, I recommend you skip this episode. It's one of the lesser episodes of the lesser season of TNG. However, if you're really into the Klingons, I'll recommend it if only for the fact that it reintroduced the Klingons to the new era. Why was I constantly mentioning Vaughn Armstrong? Well, he would go from this episode to be along the likes of Jeffrey Combs and J.G. Hertzler for playing seven or more characters in the Star Trek franchise. So, if you're a fan of him, it may be worth seeing his first performance.

Final Score: 6/10